Heated

Some weeks feel heavier than others. This is me trying to make sense of the heat. The pressure and the growing pains are intense. The quiet moments force us to evolve.

“I’ve gotta cool it down, heated.”- These lyrics come straight to mind while I have been navigating these growing pains.

Lately I feel as though it’s been vs me the world-figuring things out, stuck, confused, and unsure of what’s next. Work has been incredibly stressful. We’re in Mercury’s retrograde right? It feels like that on steroids. People more angry than usual and everything is overpriced.

With all this comes stress, anxiety, and anger at the world you have created for yourself. Then the tears start to follow-it’s not something you can control. They just fall out.

I’m starting to learn that being an adult as a Black woman, is not like the movies. Each day as it passes by, there’s not a happy ending. You can try to strategize all you want, be the good guy in everyone’s eyes. Then all you’re left with is disrespecting yourself – and that shouldn’t be the end goal.

This is why I feel heated often. As I grow up, I learn that the world isn’t this utopia. Instead, it’s filled with never-ending growing pains, jealous adults, consistent wins, and a lack of empathy.

I’d rather be heated at the world rather than mad at myself. The world is already a melting pot. I will not take things on and suffer with my feelings in silence. I would rather let it go to the never-ending cycle. This world performs growing pains at best.

To be honest, that’s how I’m capable of having inner peace.

That, my friends, is priceless.